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FIFA - Fcuking Insane Football Allocations

After the excitement of the primary qualification groups for the 2022 World Cup to be staged in Qatar (that renowned centre of football excellence, having qualified for exactly ZERO tournaments before), I want to look at the blinkered, biased, nonsensical plans that the idiots in FIFA (Flatulent Inbred Fiendish Asswipes) want to impose on the globe for future tournaments.

For a moment, lets forget their plan to have the tournament take place every two years instead of every four as at present, and as since time inmemoriam. GREED (Greater Rewards for Each and Every Delegate) is their only motivation. Corruption is their mantra. Remember, these are the numbskulls who introduced the expanded World Club Championship, which no club wants to play in. The Confederations Cup? No nation, fan, sponsor or player is interested.

They will introduce an expanded World Cup tournament in 2026, expanded to the point where it will last for an eternity. 48 nations! Forty-eight! The current 32 nation event already takes forever. Why does FIFA want to increase the number of qualifiers by 50%? We all know its about MONEY (via sponsorship and television). BIGGER must be BETTER because it is MORE. So will we have the best 48 nations taking part? Alas, NO.

The 4 most recent tournaments, 2006, 2010, 2014, 2018 have all been won by EUROPEAN nations. Three of the Runners-up have also been EUROPEAN. So will Europe get a fairer allocation of places at the expanded tournament. You might as well ask a politician to tell the truth.

Here are the allocations for the 2022 tournament. We need to understand that FIFA allocate half places, which means confederations get to nominate a team to take part in a play off.


Understanding that, Qatar 2022 is broken down as follows:-

Europe 13, Africa 5, Asia 5.5, Oceania 0.5, N&C America 3.5, Sth America 4.5

The proposal for the 2026 expanded tournament is as follows:-

Europe 16, Africa 9, Asia 8, Oceania 1, N&C America 6, Sth America 6


So Europe, which has provided 7 of the last 8 finalists gets 3 additional places. (Really!)

There reward for providing 19 of the 32 quarter finalists is 3 extra places. (Ooops.)

But Africa, with 1 quarter finalist over 4 events gets 4 additional places. (Eh?)

The might of North & Central America gets the same allocation as South America. (Doh!)

Asia, without a quarter finalist in any of the last 4 events gets 8 places in the finals. (Ffs!)

Oceania now has an automatic place even though they would rather play RUGBY. (Try!)


The allocation of nations is nothing short of RIDICULOUS.

If the pro rata expansion rate of 50% is applied - Europe should have 19.5 participants.

Based on 59.4% of quarter finalists in last 4 events - Europe should have 28.5 participants.

Based on FIFA's own world rankings as of today - Europe should have 26 participants.

Having provided 87.5% of the actual finalists - Europe should have 42 participants.

Europe will get 16 teams. A similar exercise for South America yields a similar imbalance.


If there has ever been a more obvious global example of the dog being wagged by the tail, then I have not seen it. By promising places in finals for emerging nations in return for votes, these self serving, corrupt, blinkered idiots will slowly destroy the concept of global football. If they ever combine their unbalanced continental allocations with a biannual World Cup tournament, I suspect that UEFA might break away and host a meaningful Europe-only tournament every 2 years.

ps - for anyone in North America, for football read SOCCER. I accept that you play real football, NFL (Not Football Lincoln), a sport in which the egg shaped ball is very rarely kicked. And I understand that your domestic champion is actually the world champion, a uniquely self indulgent illusion.

So how do we stop this nonsense?

In the past, I could have asked for "Answers On A Postcard To..."

In today's technical and vaccine driven world, please "Add A Comment On My Website"

Or send an angrily worded email to FIFA (Fuckwits In Football Authority)

Maybe Europe and South America will withdraw. Imagine trying to sell rights to that tourney.


As a footnote, I was in Qatar when they were awarded the 2022 Fifa World Cup. Nobody gave a toss and only a minority had any inkling what it was about. During a trial run, Qatar hosted the Asia Cup, where thousands of fans were turned away from the final as a local Prince decided to attend and wanted one stand entirely for his entourage. Imagine ticket holding English and Dutch fans being turned away from their quarter final in this manner. Yet another reason why FIFA should not be permitted to take decisions about anything.

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